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Words and pictures are PRETTY.

One of the elements that I enjoy most about the design of the Magic cards, is the quotes included in the description on some of the cards. These are normally referred to as the “flavour text” of a card. This text is put there to better complement the abilities of the card, or for humourous effect. Some of the funniest ones are the goblin cards.

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“Once he’d worked out which end of the thing was sharp, he was promoted to guard duty.”

See?

Some of the best quotes include:

“I offered you eternal life; I just didn’t say where” – Infernal Harvest

“Which is worse, nothing to defend, or no one to defend it?” – Troubled Healer

“Fair fight? I’ll take survival over chivalry any day!” – Ambush Party

“They’ve got claws as long as your arm. And they’re grouchy. Really, really, grouchy.” – Grizzly Bears

“If they move, kill them. In fact, kill one now to make sure the other understands.” – Intimidation

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“Slow and steady may not always win the race, but at least it doesn’t end up splattered on the walls.”

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“I said ‘pick his brain,’ not ‘tear his head off.'”

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“I like goblins. They make funny little popping sounds when they die.”

“The cautious are wary of their enemies. The wise are also wary of their friends.” – Cephalid Snitch

“The faithful will walk through streams of fire and emerge unscathed” – Crimson Acolyte

“If it ain’t broke, I’ll break it. If it is broke, I’ll fix it.” – Trickster Mage

“Fight with a friend at your back, steel in your hands, and magic in your veins.” – Quirion Explorer

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“After an hour in the hidey-hole, Squee seriously pondered the advantages of danger over boredom.”

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“In life, it was a fetid, disease-ridden thing. In death, not much has changed.”

“Now accepting donations of ammunition. Pots, pans, broken yard tools, naughty children, anything will do!” – Orcish Council of War

“Species XR 17 feeds upon the mental energies of its victims. This explains why the goblins remain unaffected.” – Synapse Sliver

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“Garl, adjust the slurry dispensers. Garl, fetch more corpses. Garl, quit crying and give me your brain tissue. If he doesn’t stop being so rude, I’m quitting.”

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 “Years of attempts have brought the goblins no closer to growing a sausage tree.”

Not only do I admire the cards because of these funny texts, but also because of the amazing artwork which is depicted on some cards:

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Many people like to edit cards and create mock versions of cards. Some of these can turn out quite funny when done right:

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The Morgan Freeman version is definitely my favourite.

Word count: 447

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